The Bitch Came Back

I've really struggled with whether I should write this post. But since you, dear reader, have gotten to read about most (if not all) of my dalliances, I might as well spill the details.

Soccer Mom showed up at my door Wednesday morning.

When I saw her standing there a million emotions ran through me. Part of me felt like slamming the door in her face. Another part of me wanted to take her into my arms. I know I tried to sound pleasant when I said hello, but I'm sure it sounded like I was saying "fuck you, you heartless bitch".

I invited her in. I wasn't going to leave her standing at the door. As she entered we did not hug or touch each other. We went and sat down in the den.

I sat in a chair across from her. Her butt had barely touched the sofa cushion when she broke down.

It seems that her fling with L was short lived. So were three other relationships with other younger men over the last six months.

I let SM talk through her tears. I listened but not intently. While part of me really didn't want to hear about her failed attempts at being a cougar, part of me wanted to rub her failings in her face. Finally I spoke.

"(SM) why are you here?"

"I realized about a week after we had lunch that I shouldn't have done what I did to you."

That was the understatement of the century.

"Uh huh."

I know I could have lashed out at her. Told her how miserable I'd been the last six months. But I didn't. I think she knew. I also wondered if she thought I'd take her back. I didn't have to wonder long.

"(TS) I miss you. I was wrong. Can you forgive me?"

"I'm not sure I can answer that question right now (SM). I really need to think about this."

"Of course."

And with that, SM got up and headed for the door. I let her out.

Did she honestly think I'd say that all is forgiven? Yes, I miss her. Yes, I'd love to fuck her silly again. But what she did and how she did it are making it very hard for me to say "apology accepted."

So, dear reader, should I take her back?